Eternal Father

Forgive my previous prayer. Thank You for not granting my request. Not sure I could actually handle hearing from You with regards to Thy Will for me. Maybe You did come to me in a dream last night and I didn't remember. Probably a good thing. Suzy had nightmares last night and remembered them vividly.  Please bless her with restful sleep tonight. I'm done asking for Thee to speak to me or for me to hear Thy voice. I realize now it's a lot to ask. Not like I'm Moses, for Your sake. I'd probably be more like Jona and go in the exact opposite direction Thy sent me. I'd probably need to be spit-out of a fish before doing what Thee ask of me. I will continue to seek Thy signs and act on Thy prompting. For these I am so grateful and recognizing Thy presence and blessings in my life will continue to be my calling. I just wanted more, to know more, to be more, to be someone greater than I am. I know I can be, but with You I am. I am that, I am. 

This paradox You've created for us believers is proof of Thy sense of humor. I believe in Thee. I have faith in Thee. I love Thee. I know Thee. Knowing and loving without seeing, hearing, touching or using any of the senses available; taste, smell, time, tempature, vibration or spacial reasoning. None of the senses of man are adequate to find Thee. Is love one of the human senses? Is it the 10th sense? Do I know You because I Love You and can sense Thy Love for me? To Love and be Loved is all I ever wanted. Thy Love and mercy for me has helped me start to be true and kind to myself. I have begun to forgive myself and know myself and free myself of all that has kept me from Thee and it is good. I wish to love myself as Thee does. See myself through Thine own eyes. To be true to my own self and in doing so know You and Thy Love for me, for us, all of us. Being a father I know the Love we share for my daughters. It is at times almost too much for me to bear. To great a gift to ever be worthy of, too much to ever hold, too great to ever loose. But there it is and here I am. I bare witness Oh my God, that Thou hast created me to know Thee and to worship Thee. I testify at this moment to my powerlessness and to Thy might, to my poverty and to Thy wealth. There is none other God, but Thee. The help and comfort in this world and the world to come. I pray in the name of Jesus, the Glory of God, the Holy Spirit, and all the prophets. Amen.